Saturday, February 21, 2009
i just realised my blogskin doesnt show the title of my posts. so ill put it down.
MORBID LIFE PART 2. part 2 cause sec3 or 2 my url was my-morbid-life.blogspot.com
hello everyone. lets review what ive learnt over the past unfruitful 17 years of my mediocre life.
im gonna list down the things i noe how to do:
drums
bass
guitar
sing
scream
parkour
dota
world of warcraft
badminton
soccer
softball
swimming
rock-climbing
flips
rollerblade
ice skate
sports u learn during P.E
fitness
taekwondo
errr classical dancing
studies
running
now lets list down how many of these things im actually good at:
scream
rock-climbing
softball? i wouldnt consider myself excellent either
there. 17years. what i have achieved.
im not even good with people.
not a party animal.
not good at cheering people up.
not good at socialising.
not good at starting convos.
just not good anything.
completely,utterly,regretfully 100% useless.
and if there is one thing im good at. its that im the best jack of all traits.the best master of none.
what the shit is wrong with me.i need eye-openers.i need drive,will power,self-esteem,determination,morale,persistancy.i need change.i need stepping stones i need people to guide me to the first stepping stone. i need people to guide me to guide me to life up my feet.i cant do anything on my own.just so helpless.such a burden and curse to myself.
and even if people try to cheer me up by saying no la u are good at this and this and that and etc. its just no use. i wanna be good at the things that im not,or that im trying to be at.but i cant.and that includes EVERYTHING i know.
can anyone even uderstand or empathize with me? or am i just the only one feeling this way. i dunno what i need to do. and the worst part is, IM NOT EVEN A GOOD CHRISTIAN. i do not please GOD.
im am haning from a cliff. but there's no one to pull me up cause i myself already cant. so am i gonna be a jack for life? i dont have the fire to give it my best. everything i do, i dun give 100%
let's face it.i dont think im gonna find an answer any sooner.
i may even stop trying to do anything at one point.and just be a loser,staying home all day and everyday and just play dota, and some other games.ill grow mega fat.deteriorate my health.get diabetes at 18 years old.get brain cancer while having diabetes.forget about going for health checkups.eat alot of maggee mee and sweets and chocolates and chips while gaming.grow bald by 19.reach terminal by 19and a half.live in a big shell.get serious asthma and nature-borne diseases.die at 20.full of utmost regret and shame.or why dont i jus die of leprosy.slow and agonising.
i still live and believe in this reverse-motto.and im convinced. : i never get things right the first time, i may fail again the second time, i might stop trying on the third time. i will forget about the fourth time.just like luke. cause I AM Luke.
cause im just too much of a taker, ang kang foo, one million ketupat, hong gan flaygon, tuts my barreh, son of sun, benny lava who fought a barber man and DIED.
ok ill make yi guo a deal. if i can master front tuck(lay-manly known as front flip). in one month. ill remove this post. but i guess he'll just have to wait 7 YEARS! for me to learn that.oh yes my reason for this long and dreadful post is cause today i had my first flips lesson at toa payoh gym.its a really cool gym. got all the props u need to learn gymnastics and stuff.and today we learnt the front tuck EXCEPT FOR ME!!!(: so ya i couldnt take being stuck half-way at things anymore. so thats y i decided to become emo again.
MORBID LIFE PART 2. part 2 cause sec3 or 2 my url was my-morbid-life.blogspot.com
hello everyone. lets review what ive learnt over the past unfruitful 17 years of my mediocre life.
im gonna list down the things i noe how to do:
drums
bass
guitar
sing
scream
parkour
dota
world of warcraft
badminton
soccer
softball
swimming
rock-climbing
flips
rollerblade
ice skate
sports u learn during P.E
fitness
taekwondo
errr classical dancing
studies
running
now lets list down how many of these things im actually good at:
scream
rock-climbing
softball? i wouldnt consider myself excellent either
there. 17years. what i have achieved.
im not even good with people.
not a party animal.
not good at cheering people up.
not good at socialising.
not good at starting convos.
just not good anything.
completely,utterly,regretfully 100% useless.
and if there is one thing im good at. its that im the best jack of all traits.the best master of none.
what the shit is wrong with me.i need eye-openers.i need drive,will power,self-esteem,determination,morale,persistancy.i need change.i need stepping stones i need people to guide me to the first stepping stone. i need people to guide me to guide me to life up my feet.i cant do anything on my own.just so helpless.such a burden and curse to myself.
and even if people try to cheer me up by saying no la u are good at this and this and that and etc. its just no use. i wanna be good at the things that im not,or that im trying to be at.but i cant.and that includes EVERYTHING i know.
can anyone even uderstand or empathize with me? or am i just the only one feeling this way. i dunno what i need to do. and the worst part is, IM NOT EVEN A GOOD CHRISTIAN. i do not please GOD.
im am haning from a cliff. but there's no one to pull me up cause i myself already cant. so am i gonna be a jack for life? i dont have the fire to give it my best. everything i do, i dun give 100%
let's face it.i dont think im gonna find an answer any sooner.
i may even stop trying to do anything at one point.and just be a loser,staying home all day and everyday and just play dota, and some other games.ill grow mega fat.deteriorate my health.get diabetes at 18 years old.get brain cancer while having diabetes.forget about going for health checkups.eat alot of maggee mee and sweets and chocolates and chips while gaming.grow bald by 19.reach terminal by 19and a half.live in a big shell.get serious asthma and nature-borne diseases.die at 20.full of utmost regret and shame.or why dont i jus die of leprosy.slow and agonising.
i still live and believe in this reverse-motto.and im convinced. : i never get things right the first time, i may fail again the second time, i might stop trying on the third time. i will forget about the fourth time.just like luke. cause I AM Luke.
cause im just too much of a taker, ang kang foo, one million ketupat, hong gan flaygon, tuts my barreh, son of sun, benny lava who fought a barber man and DIED.
ok ill make yi guo a deal. if i can master front tuck(lay-manly known as front flip). in one month. ill remove this post. but i guess he'll just have to wait 7 YEARS! for me to learn that.oh yes my reason for this long and dreadful post is cause today i had my first flips lesson at toa payoh gym.its a really cool gym. got all the props u need to learn gymnastics and stuff.and today we learnt the front tuck EXCEPT FOR ME!!!(: so ya i couldnt take being stuck half-way at things anymore. so thats y i decided to become emo again.
jared thought about you at 12:19:00 AM
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