it's always the same. well that's the way i see it. the flame always dies after awhile. i smell gasoline but the fire is sustaining. i just wish it didnt have to be this way everytime. we could be much more than this. diminishing gradually, will we fall into darkness once again?

dear luke, maybe u shouldnt attach yourself to this world. you should be alone so that instead of hurting others. u can jus hurt yourself and not those around you. the damage. is decreased drastically. the world would be a much happier place. u can make it on your own, you're self-reliant, independent, strong-willed when it comes to doing it yourself, you can if you want to. the last question is, will you? involving other people in your troubles is quite a selfish thing. cause you dont know if they mind or do not mind sacrificing their time to help you. it's hard to tell. they will tell u, if you ask them if they mind, what u want to hear, and not the truth just to console you. you gotta learn to see through this sometimes. the world is safe but not all the people are. some bare wings of an angel, others, do the devil's dirty work. stay sharp luke, constantly anticipate what's to come for you. so you wont be taken by much surprise when it really does hit you. heed my advice. that's all i have to say for you, you troubled young soul.

one more week of extra lessons. and we can shiok shiok after that. but i hope we dun have tonnes of homework to tie us down.

well saturday night i dreamt that i walked to my mother's room. and i really did! haha and i feel asleep in the middle of justin and her. then she said jared what are u doing here, like lol? then she asked me to go back to my room.

my dad says i grew taller. yea shiok! gonna reach my 1.8m target.

finally watched D gray man again. time to catch up with bleach. like nearly 30 episodes. -.-

my neopet is dying. uh oh. i hope they didnt ban my account. i cant even rmb wad my pet looks like. -.-

well im off the bed now. it's 1.21AM. yup. good night late nighters.

well i just wanna say that i could be in that examination hall with everyone tomorrow. but ill be sleeping in i guess. but all the best guys. ur efforts will reflect ur marks. hope u guys will do well enough.=/ especially xing han. play dota today with me some more. oh well. fun beats studying anytime. REMEMBER TO BRING DICTIONARY AND PUT BATTERY ETC!!! not like u all will see this at this hour. oh well. god bless u all.

Luke needs to get a book on friendship. and learn much.

i could tell during the principal parent meeting. that the principal was pissed when i told her i didnt turn up for my MYE CLB paper because i said i didnt wanna go, cause go also fail.haha.she gave me that wth and lousy attitude boy face. oh well.

need to prepare myself, in a months time, ill be studying a hell lot more. try to play dota once a week. for 4hours(: same as 2 hours for 2 days. hope my mum will see it that way. play one shot better. lagi shiok.

the finger snack nougat gives me the creeps. it looks bloody heaty okay. i sure nose bleed one. if i eat like 6 and dun drink water. but ive never eaten it before.

man i wish yi guo was taking clb too. that me yi guo and jerome can go out tomorrow. sianxzxzxzxzxzxzxz. oh well ill go get iron man from my frens house tmr.

i love the earth and nature. im so fascinated and mesmerized by it. just wanna get away from everything someday and appreciate my surroundings, feel the breeze, fall asleep in a field. and etc. or go to africa and watch lions hunt. aha. or go to the rainforests. eh no wait. there's like a trillion bugs in there. i wont go in. dam disgusting suddenly u like wanna push the plants away so u can walk. then got one bloody big ant spider insect whatever on ur hand. ill freaking scream. then what if i fall onto an ant's nest. then bite my face and devour me. AHHH giving me the creeps and goosebumps. then got bees and wasps and shit. freaking scary. i dun care if i see a jaguar or snake. just strictly no bugs.

she aint here no more. wonder where she's gone to.

okay. heres the stupid thing. I THINK it's joel's bday today. i heard something like one day before the chinese o level paper. so ya i jus msged him. wont be surprised if he says: eh dey, wrong date la.

well like all my other peeps. here's a tribute. though he will never come to my blog. i dun even know if he uses the com frequently.

JOEL: be glad for u bare the same name as i do.(: every joke in class u tell is stupid yet surprisingly funny and hilarious. we have acted like gangsters. acted like mats. and it was dammmmm funnny and funnn! hhahahha. ill never forget man.. thanks for the memories. well ur cluelessness in chemistry is alr stupid enough. i bet u dun noe wad enthalpy change is or smth. anyway. it's always fun having u around in class. though u use me, to carry newspapers in the morning, and ask me to follow to take the demerit file. oh well, if it means skipping even a min of class. so be it. haha. LASTLY, YOUR MAMA IS SO FAT, HER BELLY BUTTON HAS ECHOES! happy birthday my dearest friend.

JONATHAN: thank u so so so much for every single stupid thing we did together that did or did not get us into trouble. it was all worth the friendship and laughter. who says i forgot ur birthday. no matter how much u have changed. youll always be seen as an idiot to me.(: was that mean?oh well. i dun care. u dun care. shake hands. but please. may god enlighten ur poor astrayed mind.): may he knock some sense into u. cause wad u do now does u no good. well. the bamboo we threw down was never ever found. LOL. the chairs and tiles and trolley were never retrieved either. celebrating 4 years of friendship. im partly where i am now because of u behaving like an idiot and doing stupid shit. u are a great friend. and will always be. thanks jonathan for everything. we have got to go out sometime. and let orchard noe that 2 idiots have arrived to rock the entire place. oh i mean toys 'r' us.

FELICIA: well ur ez-link picture is alr hilarious enough(: but youre a nice person to be with. but u just ask too many questions when u study with me and zc and jim and etc. and u get easily distracted.well who doesnt right. thanks for the friendship man tou(: for the study groups and fellowship.

HAPPY 16th BDAY TO BOTH OF U.it's just not fair u guys get to hit the NC16 movies quicker than me. oh well. my turn will come soon. but screw that. im alr watching like M18 since last year. like SAW 1 2 3.

sudden addiction to 98.7. even though i dun like some of the music they play. i only like muttons to midnight. damm funnny la.

how's my life lately? not exactly swell!

well i think a lil bit of my inspiration is back to write a LUKE CHAPTER 7:

well i guess Luke is forced by his dear friend to take the passive approach. he's done this before. and it always hurt him so badly. like a 1000 daggers piercing his heart at a single go. it hurt so bad that even crying to release some anguish wouldnt work. it was more painful than any other emotional wound. accepting this diktat was the only option if Luke wanted to stay alive, so to speak. but why is it always him? why not the other person. bleeding himself dry, he sits at the corner in idle.until the time is ripe to move his pawn. and then the glimpse of light means that he might get to perform a check mate. but it's up to the queen to accept Luke.

the ultimate sacrifice. Luke thought he'd make only once. but it looks like he has to do it again. at least he hopes this would be the last time. why does this have to happen to Luke. this question is the most famous in his disaster-stricken mind. but i guess he is also aware he's not the only one that goes through stuff like that. at the end of the day, he tells himself: well everything could have been worser than it alr is now. i guess thats his fuel to go on. cause a friend once told him, look on the bright side of life. he'll never forget her and her words.

my dear friends, i tell you most solemnly. Luke is not hard to find.
Luke will disappear when he is caught by everyone.

well that's the end of Luke, and here's a somewhat kind of song ive just written:
the ultimate sacrifice
i wont mind going through the umpteenth time
jus so that u may be forgiven
dear brethren, i'll always love you.
even if it were to hurt.
for this path that ive chosen
is one that will make you be in a better state than i am
in exchange for my joy, i'll suffer all that you were supposed to
i believe that 2 people can never be happy
one has to suffer for the sake of the other
so that at least one can have what he wants
both our eyes on the prize, it's not the case of may the best man win.
a handshake could change everything, but a kiss could make me crumble.
sincerity in everything you do can be seen by the impact of your actions.
the gift of seeing through you is a phenomenal blessing from the father.

let's see.. went to stay over at nana's house ytd. stupid sia. after watching dead silence. halfway falling asleep. we decided to change to a happy movie. ratatouille i think it's spelled like that. ya like 5 mins into the show we both fell asleep. haha. somemore during dead silence which was not as scary as i expected it to be, less scary than ju-on, she kept dozing off. well so did i.but jus abit. yea quite an okay show la. not that fantastic.

so now im at home. jus played dota. im dam pissed okay. everytime i noe that my team will win. people will leave halfway. so i cant enjoy the whole game. but everytime i sure lose right. no one leaves, so the game goes on. damm sian la.. so i have to stay on until i lose.. oh well. at least i didnt leave when i was losing.

going out soon. so lazy. so boring somemore. go wad carefour or something. like omg. dam boringgggggg.

oh yi guo justin and i played dance dance revolution. good thing i didnt embarrass myself. good second try. unlike the first time i played. so many people saw. =/ now they shifted it to one deserted corner. so ya. only small kids watched.definitely will play it again.

oooo i think there is milk and cereal.ill go help myself to some snacks!!!(: THERE BETTER BE MILK. oh yea.. milk..

okay ill blog properly tonight. now's jus random since i have not updated in quite awhile.

happy vesak day everyone. although i have no idea what vesak day is about. bye.

I think i just got kicked down a mountain. now's about me. not about luke. ya like literally man.. even as im descending. im tumbling and colliding with every hedge. there's no stopping. the only way back up is to finish the fall. but who knows by that time, if im still alive. and the worst part is. this isnt the first time. LIFE IS SUCH. sometimes. there the bright side of life that every seeks so desperately for just doesnt wanna show itself. maybe its a test. a phase. a lesson. a message. an experience. a journey. a story, worth living and dying for.

For your info. i did not write the following lyrics. it's by underoath-its dangerous business walking out your frontdoor

I've been up at this all night long
I've been drowning in my sleep
I've prayed for your safe place
And it's time for us to leave

Time is running, it's running on empty
And the gas is running out
I've decided tonight is the night
That I let love aside
Full speed ahead this seems to be the place
I've seen this once before
Planned perfection sought in my dreams
Hoping this would take you home

My knuckles have turned to white
There's no turning back tonight
Kiss me one last time
[Shut your eyes]

Around this turn where the cross will cast your shadow
The people will all gather
To remember such a day where the flames grew as high
As trees
And the world stopped for you and me

I will now bring new meaning to the word alone
Endless nights of dreaming of life
And the days we should have spent here

Drowning in my sleep, I'm drowning in my sleep

Glass shatters and comes to a halt
I thought we'd be there by now
I thought it would be so much quicker than this
Pain has never been so brilliant
I made sure you were buckled in Now you can walk hand in hand with him

Luke's life cant get any worse right now. just when he thought he was back up on his 2 feet. everything started to fail again. this time. more than jus dark clouds. freaking disasters striking every corner of his heart. but he just doesnt wanna resist. keep them coming. he can take it. he's done it before. all at once, one at a time, repetitively. not jus numb. but immune to such calamity.
not that he's accepting fate like a man. it's jus that. he doesnt really have much of a choice. the world doesnt revolve around him.

Luke finds it hard to keep up with his social circle. guess setbacks are part and parcel of life. guess he noes that he's not the only one facing such stuff. he's got lots to learn.. lots to suffer. to understand, realise, accept, stand up, move on. but a friend once told him. look on the bride side of life. those words meant so much coming from a new friend. they meant so much that it healed the deep wounds engraved on his heart..

oh the sacrifices Luke chooses to make. with sacrifice comes victory. i beg to differ. victory to who? the beholder? or the opposition. why does he always make decisions that involve hurting himself. to delete existence is to be the worst form of a friend. well not like he has never done it before. at least he still kept the last bits of acknowledgment. maybe it's too soon to thank his new friend for the memories.somehow this night wont get any better for Luke .

so i guess Luke will adopt the policy "obligation to abstain"
guess he'll go into hiding now.


my dear friends, i tell you most solemnly. Luke is not hard to find.
Luke will disappear when he is caught by everyone.


hahahhah justing told me a very nice yo mama joke. YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT SHE HAS HER OWN WEBSITE.AND ITS CALLED WWW.HERSPACE.COM LIKE LOL!!! ahahhahaa. but still like the passion of christ one.

stupid Illness!!! but this isnt gonna stop me one bit from exercising. okay need to go toilet. nature calls. -.- whats up with me and the faces!!!! okay. see ya. Luke, please say goodbye dun be so keep-to-yourself.

psychedelic.

short note to self: go to pure volume.com source for bands under charts. select. re-hear. cancel out rubbish/not so good ones. and indulge in the rest. remember, high voices, good music good screaming. expreimental,pop punk,powerpop,progressive,punk,rock,screamo,southern rock.

okay off to bed now. tomorrow got pe! that means can play soccer! woopdidoo(: night

Luke has always had the tendency to hold on the past situations. and let them invade his mind again so that it hurts. apart from his forgetful nature, he jus cant understand y he does so. the images are so clear. it's almost as if he is there once again. experiencing it one more time. Luke doesnt really noe how to let go. he doesnt noe when he has let go. or when to let go or why to let go.
weaknesses such as this has taken huge tolls on him. but he has to live with the flaw. because thats apart of him. but if the spirit is willing to change, then the flesh will be. but Luke thinks that sometimes holding on is wad gets him by. the past memories are his fuel for his heart.

Luke is often caught in the middle between people. the middle man is a role he doesnt really like. because it's hard to live. well the good thing is he doesnt lie to either party. he jus doesnt say anything and plays along. he has disregarded the guilt that he feels when talking to any side. it's not hard for him to have 2 faces.cause he just does nothing. so not much guilt is felt anyways.

where Luke is right now. the dark clouds are clearing. his head is almost not too heavy. he is his own burden to bare. he wants this but at the same time he doesnt want it. that would jus hurt others around him. he asks himself if he is being to selfish sometimes.

Luke is anticipating the new phase in life. a new chapter. but how would he noe when it comes? it could be anything. a test of faith, patience, love, kindness, understanding, friendship, anything! he feels that it's so hard to be an angel sometimes. or at least he's trying to be one.

what's the next move in life? which direction to head. praying and pondering and dwelling in deep thought should clear the foggy road. some day, Luke's gonna be alright.

my dear friends, i tell you most solemnly. Luke is not hard to find.
Luke will disappear when he is caught by everyone.

sup y'all. jus came back from watching speed racer. at first. i thought it would be a waste of my 10bucks. but. it actually turned out to be quite nice. although the i could tell that it's totally computer graphics. but it's still in fact nice. actors were okay. not so hot but not ugly either. oh if any of u caught the flinstones movie... the fred flinstone is the speed racer's dad. and i BET U GUYS WILL NEVER EVER THINK THAT THE SHOW NAME IS ACTUALLY THE MAIN CHARACTER'S NAME!!. well me neither =/

hmmm. good movies coming out this year. still got plenty to watch. on the internet.(:

WAITING FOR XING HAN TO COME ONLINE SO THAT WE CAN PLAY DOTA! oh yes. how can i forget the amusing jackson. he is dammmmm ku ku la. always fun to be around him. he feels the same way about me when he is around me. omg does that line sound gay? too bad! neh ni neh ni poo poo.

yo mama is soooo old she watched the passion play.... LIVE!!! hahahhahahaahahahahahaha dammmmm freaking funny cant wait for monday. joel is gonnna telll me more!! monday!!!!! there is PE! i wanna play soccer yo. quite long never play alr.

and i gotta go running soon man. ever since track and field ended. i haven't run since! my leg muscles!! the ones i trained SO HARD FOR!( with occasional skipping of cca and cheating during training). dude like who doesnt man..

one day ur life will flash before your very eyes. will it be worth watching? make the best out of it now. do everything u can to please urself and others around u. and ur reward in heaven will be splendid and worth all the sacrifice.

alright guess ill end here. gotta go bathe... ARGH! the chores in life.. should i take a hot or cold bath? ah! what the heck anyways. still gonna be the same. but it's quite hot even at this hour. STUPID GLOBAL WARMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

escalator fun.

sorry about the long halt in my blogging. my mother confiscated the internet. cause i kept playing dota. during exams. oh well. today was the final paper of course. so ya. i have a hardcore dota appointment from 8pm to 2am. if my parents come back and nag at me. ill screw them. no la jus kiddin. ill say. i got the last phone finger and they can have the bobble head. anyone who is smart enough will realise that line was from drake and josh.(:

well how have i been? same old. nth much i guess. living a normal life. issit normal to play dota excessively? yes i think so. it's normal to have obsessions,cravings,fetishes,pensions(?)

oh my mother is at home???!!! omg i didnt noe. i jus heard her shouting from her room. to justin la of course. why the hell would my mother shout for no reason.

well now for the underlife(:

at this rate 5 seconds per plunge, drowning sorrows at the speed of light, should make everything fine. it's not the shinning armour. it's the knight underneath.

personally, i fear death. i mean how it feels to die. jus stop and think. isnt is scary. it's like youre gonna DIE!!!! D.I.E! think of the outcome. the feeling. your life will flash before u. and as u die. you'll cry. silently. without tears. issit too painful until u cant make a sound. or does your heart beat slower and slower until it comes to a stop. does the pain feel brilliant? well no one lives to share the experience. LIKE DUH!!

OMG I SWEAR. JUS 10SECONDS AGO. I FELT SOO EMBARRASSED. MY CALLER ID FLASHED YI GOU'S HOUSE. SO I PICKED UP AND MADE A DAMMMM RETARDED NOISE LIKE. GAGAGAGAGA! CAUSE THAT'S HOW WE USUALLY GREET EACH OTHER. THEN! IT WAS THE DAD.... -.- HE WAS ASKING WHERE YI GUO IS. WHETHER HE AT MY HOUSE OR SOMETHING. OMG. THANK GOODNESS HE DIDNT GASP AND STARTLE.

i guess it's time to work out now! haha. and then.. dota fever. oh it makes me so hot all the time. all day long. i mean. not that i need to be any hotter.

okay so here is Luke chapter 4. boy this story is hard to think about man. but i guess ill never run outta things to write! this one's called Luke's self reflection.

where am i? is this all a dream? my nightmares are giving chase. im only left with the choice of running because hiding isnt gonna help one bit. but i guess it's okay. it'll all be over soon. i guess the speed of the process is directly proportional to the the sharpness of the blade. but hey. that's not how i wanna do it. smiling in my sleep and dying peacefully is how i wanna go. into oblivion i go. into the kingdom where i rest into eternal peace. living an eternal life. in my father's arms.

pretty short chapter i should say. i guess Luke doesnt believe in self-mutilation. for now? but he knows it's not right.

my dear friends, i tell you most solemnly. Luke is not hard to find.
Luke will disappear when he is caught by everyone.

hmm waiting for xing han so that we can play dota!! ARGH!!! he's taking uber long.. im still not getting over the iron man suit thing. okay i think ill go find some pictures of it. and start. omg-ing and wow-ing and stuff. okay good night guys!! (:

oh yea. new rubik's cube record. from 1min 7secs to 1min 6secs. like whats the diff.. hahha. oh well. slowly making my way to 1min.

if you run like the wind ill catch up like the fire.

52.77seconds

the uglier it gets the more beautiful the outcome

28/08/92
17(:
God must be everything
music could be the next everything
Has the emotional values of a girl
Often described as weird,random,retarded
BE A GOOD CHRISTIAN
Dedicate my life to music and form my own alternate christian screamo band
I want an AUDI
Have Twin kids of the opposite sex

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Underoath
The downtown fiction
Stereo skyline
i Rival
The friday night boys
The right coast
Ivory line
Asteria
Pensive
Time tells all
The chase
Tonight is goodbye
Holiday parade
Vanna
Can you keep a secret
Fight fair
School boy humour
We are the ocean
You me at six
Closure in moscow
A kidnap in colour
Mae
The record kid
Funeral For A Friend
Hawthorne heights
Matchbook romance
All time low
Chasing victory
Cry of the afflicted
Secondhand serenade
Settings
Haste the day
As i lay dying
Matchbook romance
The human abstract
Rookie of the year
Artist vs poet
Drive like carson
Shorelines end
Honor bright
Paramore
Red car wire
Phone calls from home
This time next year
The july week
Hit the lights
Crashcarburn
Making april
Ellington
Vega under fir
The wedding
A skylit drive
Senses fail
Sky eats airplane
We the kings
Versa emerge
Driver side impact
Rja
Silverstein
There for tomorrow
Our last night
Fireflight
Divided by friday
October nites
The boy and his machine
The maine
Ice nine kills
Cinematic sunrise
Cute is what we aim for
Van atta high

Fadli-sayang,hunneh<3
Erica
Claire
robin
tiffanie!
Nana
Drayco/Taker's best friend(:
Kim
Yaying
Felicia
Farisa
Alfie
Kim tan
marcus
vanessa danker
marilyn
shiwei
steph